My Story: Calrifying a Few Points - al-qaeda, etc. (17)

I've highlighted some of the major points to describe what has happened to me and my children - how I trusted my husband, how he responded by abusing us physically and emotionally, and how he kidnapped the children and has held them hostage in Yemen for over two years. I've also touched on certain key players, like David Fuller at the US Embassy in Sanaa, the US State Dept in Washington DC, and the UNHCR. I mentioned a few things, however, that were not explained well, and I had some questions about them, so I will try to clarify things a bit here.

I mentioned my husband's alleged affiliation with al-qaeda, but didn't say much about it. But there were questions about what happened, so I'll try to briefly explain that whole mess. I'd say the al-qaeda allegations started around December 1999 when two FBI agents came to our apartment to question my husband. They said that they had arrested an al-qaeda member at an airport in New York, and when they arrested him, this man had my husband's business card in his wallet. They wanted to know how my husband was affiliated with this man. The FBI agent produced the busienss card, and it was one that I had made for my husband on our home computer, so it was genuine. Ahmed told me and the FBI agents that he didn't know that man and that he had no idea why the man was carrying his business card. The FBI agents left, and we heard no more about it.

Then, on Sept 11, 2001 as he and I stood in our living room watching the horror that was unfolding with the trade centers in New York City on TV, I was stunned by my husband's response to the events. As soon as it started, and before the buildings fell, he stood there, watching, and told me, "This is what the US gets. The US gives billions of dollars to the Jews and supplies the Zionists with bombs and missiles so they can kill thousands of innocent Palestinians. It's bout time they fought back. The US is finally getting what it deserves." Later, when the names and faces of the hijackers appeared on TV, Ahmed shot up off the couch and said, "That's my friend! His brother and I were best friends growing up. I hung out at his house everyday after school". I was surprised that he knew these people well, and at that time, he had cut me off from all friends and family. He opened my mail and wouldn't let me have it unless it passed his inspection. I wasn't allowed to leave the house or talk on the phone to anyone, because he was extremely controlling, and he was afraid that I'd tell someone about all the bruises he was putting on me. So at that time, I would sit down every night and write in a personal journal on my computer. Shocked by his recent revelations, I wrote what he said in my journal. I never mentioned it to anyone. I didn't even have contact with anyone at that time.

On Oct. 23, 2001, Ahmed went to work as usual at 8 am. A half hour later, I got a phone call. The person on the phone said, "This is the Dept. of Homeland Security. We have your husband in custody, and we're bringing the van back to your house". Less than 10 minutes later, there was a knock at my door. When I opened it, there were 6 FBI agents at the door. They came in and said they wanted to search the house because they believd that my husband was involved in al-qaeda. They spent the next 8 hours searching everything in my house, copying all the hard drives on my computers, carrying out boxes of documents, etc. I was just in shock. At that time, I was just relieved that he wouldn't be coming home that day, because that meant that, at least tonight, I wasn't going to get hit.

When the FBI copied the hard drive on my computer, they found and read my personal journal, where I had detailed daily abuse and incidents with my husband, including things like his comments about the World Trade Center. There were other things, too, like the time Ahmed brought this Arabic man into our house shortly after the events of Sept. 11. He said this man was an old friend, and he came and stayed with us for about 2 months. The guy spoke no English, and they always talked in Arabic, so I didn't know anything about what was going on. This man and my husband were always busy with each other, talking away and going places. Then, after two months, Ahmed told me we were taking a trip to the Bronx in New York City to drop this guy off somewhere. I never questioned anything he did or argued with him, because I'd already learned my lesson well not to do such things, or I'd be suffering for it. So, before Christmas, we loaded our 1-year-old boy, and our 3- and 5-year-old daughters into the van and went to New York City with this guy. When we got there, I was told to stay in the van and don't talk to anyone. It was a pretty scary-looking area, and I wouldn't have gotten out with my three kids anyway. He and the man went into this brick building, and he stayed in there for several hours, late into the night. Eventually, he came out and we headed back home. Nothing was ever said about who he was or why we had to come here to drop him off or anything. I know that the guy came on a visitor visa and later stayed in America, never returning to Yemen. And from what I've heard, the US government has tried to find him but has never been able to.

Months after Ahmed was arrested and kept in a jail in Pennsylvania, he had a trial or hearings, or whatever they call them there at the court in PA. The FBI testified that they believed that Ahmed was a "highly motivated, highly trained first-stringer al-qaeda member". There were phone records showing that he had called some place in New York numerous times, and that phone number was used by people the government had already arrested for laundering money for al-qaeda. They asked Ahmed who he called and what he talked to them about, but Ahmed denied making the phone calls, even though the phone records showed at least 12 calls made to that number from our house, and each conversation lasting quite a while.

Then there was the Wisconsin incident. The day after I told Ahmed I was pregnant with our first child, he told me I had to get an abortion because having sex before marriage meant the death penalty in his country, and he would embarrass his family if they found out. I told him, "I'm having the baby. You are absolved from all reponsibility. Go away and leave, if that's what you want." He said he would not be able to see me or speak to me anymore, and the next day, he left to go "stay with some people he knows" in Wisconsin. When he got to Wisconsin, he called me several times and demanded that I get an abortion, so I changed my phone number and didn't want to speak to him anymore. When I was 7 months pregnant (7 months later), he showed up at my door. He said he was sorry, and that he wanted to be a father and all that crap, and I was stupid. I forgave him and let him back into my life.

At the trial or hearing (or whatever it was) in PA, the FBI produced Ahmed's State ID that he had obtained in Wisconsin. The address that was listed on his ID apparently was also the address of another man that the FBI had arrested on terrorism charges. They wanted to know who he lived with and how he knew this man. Ahmed denied knowing the man.

Other things had come up that I didn't know about, also. When Ahmed was gone for those 7 months, he told me that he had gotten a scholarship to do a training program in Japan for two months. He said he went there and then came back to America. According to the FBI, he went to Japan, but he also had travel records stating that he was in other places like Malaysia and some other place where there are known al-qaeda training camps. I don't know anything about that, just what the FBI said.

At the trial, the FBI agent testified that there were so many strings connecting my husband to al-qaeda that, even though each one was inconsequential, putting all of them together was like having lightening strike in the eact same place over and over and over again, and mere coincidence could not explain it. The chances that all these ties to al-qaeda just, by chance, happening to the same man, were more like one in a billion.

Even so, I couldn't believe that my husband had anything to do with al-qaeda, so I stood up publicly and defended him and spent three years fighting for his release from jail.

Of course, I've seen and heard a lot more since those days, and I, personally, now truly know that my husband is in some group that is very powerful and very highly connected. I have seen him do things that no regular guy could get done. I won't elaborate, because this story isn't about him. He doesn't matter - my children are the ones who matter. I'm only saying it to clarify some points. But he has enormous power. He can pick up a phone and get anything - and I mean ANYTHING - done, and have it done in a matter of minutes. I have seen him get on a phone and have things done in another country, and that thing was done - in the other country - in less than 2 hours. Not just little stuff, either, but stuff that regular people could spend years trying to get done and not be able to get done. I'm will not elaborate, but I know that he is involved in a big, powerful group. Whether it's al-qaeda or something else, I don't know. But I know how powerful and conected he is, and that he has an army at his beck and call. He watches out for them, and they watch out for him. He's also connected to some of the best computer hackers in the world. He's shown me printouts of things he's gotten and bragged that "What - you think we Yemenis are stupid? We have some of the best hackers in the world". He, himself, doesn't know how to hack. It's his friends that help him and provide him with whatever he wants - no limits whatsoever. He has gotten lots of private records from companies that no one has access to. Well, whatever. Just take my word for it. Or don't. It doesn't matter to me. I'm just saying that this man is a very formidable foe. Very powerful.

Since I mentioned his thoughts on the Sept.11 attacks, I'd like to take a moment to mention the most horrible experience I ever had with him - more horrible than the mind games, the beatings, and watching him hurt my children.

One day, we were watching one of those evening shows like Dateline (not sure if that was the show, but it was one like that). The show was about honor killings. It showed stories of girls in Bangladesh and Egypt and Afghanistan and places around the world where these girls were killed by their own male family members for "bringing shame on the family". Sometimes, teh girls were raped, and since their rape "shamed the family", the father or oldest brother killed the girl. In Bangladesh, there was a problem of the men throwing sulfuric acid on the girls' faces. If they didn't die, they spent years in physical agony and were no longer a candidate for marriage. One story told about a girl in Egypt who was on the street when the wind blew her robe, and as a result, the skin on her ankle was seen by a prominent Egyptian man. The man who saw her ankle went to the girl's father's house and told him about it. Because the girl had dishonored the family by showing her skin in public, the oldest brother shot her in the head and killed her.

After watching the show, I was absolutely sick to my stomach. I was outraged and immensely saddened. I told Ahmed, "That's horrible! How can they do such a thing?" His reponse made me vomit - literally. He said to me, "It's the right thing to do. The most important thing a woman can offer her family is her honor. If she brings shame to her family, it is our duty to kill her to restore order to the family. She knows what she's allowed to do and what she's not allowed to do". I said, "How can you SAY that? She's a person! Some of those girls were raped! It wasn't their fault! And what about the girl with the ankle showing - the wind blew her robe, for goodness sake! How is that dishonor? How does that deserve murdering an innocent young girl? What are you saying? What if Amina decided not to be Muslim one day? What if she embarrassed you or, as you say, did something that you thought dishonored your family? Would you kill her?"

And without hesitation, he looked me straight int he eye and said, "Absolutely. It is my duty. If she shamed our family, I would kill her in a minute. If she chose not to be Muslim, I would definitely kill her because she knew the truth and then chose to turn away from the truth. Yes, I woud kill her. It's the right thing to do."

At that moment, I knew what a true monster he was, deep down inside. He was talking about his own, beautiful, highly intelligent, 5-year-old daughter. I just stood there, in complete shock. What do you say when you hear that from your husband about your own precious daughter? There are no words. I imagined this image in my mind of my little girl, being a teenager, lying inside the front door in a puddle of blood, with a gunshot wound to her head - inflicted by her own father, the one who is supposed to love and protect her. I still have that image in my head to this day just as vividly as I imagined it that day when he said those things. It's my greatest fear.

My daughter has always had a mind of her own. She never lets anyone make her think anything. She has her own ideas, her own opinions, her own way of thinking. She will never, ever be forced to be someone's puppet. She will never just accept someone else's belief as her own. She thinks about things in profound ways, and I know that she will not always agree with me - or with her father. Will her strong self of self leads to her death at the hands of her father sooner or later? My greatest fear is that it will. And it's a legitimate fear. It's my greatest fear. He has no sense of remorse when he causes others pain. In fact, seeing the terror and pain in our eyes is what he seeks on a daily basis. He has no conscience. He has never had any remorse or regret for any of the pain he's caused others, and believe me, he has caused more pain and terror than most of the criminals sitting in our jails today. Not just to me and my children, either. But the scariest thing to live with is to know who he is, what he truly believes in his heart, and what he's capable of. That is the scariest thing in my life. Knowing what he is perfectly capable of doing, and more than willing to do it.

Let me just say that I, in no way, think that Ahmed’s behavior translates into all Arabs or all Muslims. Ahmed always tells me that the Koran tells him to hit his wife and that Allah said that honor killing is right, but I know that most Muslims don’t believe that. Several of my Muslim friends don’t think Ahmed is Muslim at all, based on his actions. A lot of his behavior is just evil - and has nothing to do with any religion. Some of it is his culture. As much as he tries to justify his actions and thoughts to me by quoting the Koran, I’m no longer stupid enough to believe that he is just “obeying Allah”. What I talk about here are my own experiences, my own conversations with my husband, my own observations of things he’s done. Don’t think that I am taking those experiences and generalizing to all Muslims or Arabs, because I’m not. There are good people bad people in every socioeconomic class, in every religion, in every geographic area. This isn’t a generalization. This is my personal story. So please don’t send me hate mail saying that I’m bashing Islam or Arabs or any particular group, because I am not.

Well, I hope I clarified some of my earlier comments. If anyone ever reads this and has a question, just email me.